You might chuckle a little bit as you read some of this post. To preface, I will say that I'm going to be discussing a TV show and how it ironically relates to a part of my life right now. I won't spend this whole post talking about it but, if you have seen or are also a fan of the show How I Met Your Mother, and know that I'm a single girl, you know that I could easily go on for days making comparisons to the main character's life and my own. All of the similarities are quite ironic if you ask me.
I had plans to do sort of a Euro Tour this trip. Well, to make a long story short, that portion of the trip fell apart as I missed my flight out of Madrid this past weekend. It would have been my first time using Ryanair but I didn't even get there. They closed the gate doors of my flight just minutes or seconds after I got there. I would've arrived on time had I not sat waiting for the wrong metro car to the airport for 10 minutes, forgot to get my boarding pass stamped (some stupid policy they have) before going through security, gone through security twice and wanted to scream at the person who told me that the flight was closed. Thank goodness I didn't do the latter. Truthfully, I was too disoriented and overcome with sadness to have screamed. I tried resolving things with their ticket desk at the airport but the person manning the desk told me that I would have to buy another flight if I wanted to get to Italy and catch my next flight onward to Germany (which would have left Monday morning). You know how much that costs?! Well, it was a lot. I didn't have Internet at the airport so I couldn't check my bank account to see if I could do it. I only had this time frame of an hour to re-book with Ryanair before I would lose my "contract" with them (for that flight since I bought two separate flights for the way there). However, my brother, thank goodness, was in Madrid too with his university program. I figured it was best to head back to my brother's hotel, even though he wouldn't arrive until a few hours later. I had never felt so hopeless in my life. It's one thing to miss a flight in the US but Europe is a different story. And, when the airline is SO cheap that they don't even offer a standby service? Yeah, the next time I come back to Europe for a visit (or -crosses fingers - to live), I'm flying on more respectable airlines. I don't care if I have to pay a fare price that's comparable to the US, it will be worth it knowing that I will arrive at my destination safe and sound rather than going through what I went through this weekend.
I don't know why the Germany part of my trip didn't work out. I really would have loved to have gone and visited my Spanish friend there. Experienced a whole new part of Europe and been in a country where I don't speak the language. I don't usually get to experience that. Also, who knows who else I would've met on my way and during my stay there. This is where the How I Met Your Mother part comes in. Luckily, my brother told me of a website that streams TV shows for free. I managed to watch the season finale episode (and get caught up on two episodes before it) and see what the mother looks like! I was very thrilled that that did not get ruined for me. I can relate to how Ted feels right now...he's lost hope and faith that his future bride is in NYC. Heck, I know I'm 10 years younger than him, but I'm feeling the same way. Why wasn't I supposed to go to Germany? Why am I still in Spain? I don't know when or if I'll ever meet the bilingual man I so desire to meet....well, that's not true. I've met many over the last three to four years but I haven't met a single one who was interested in me. I think it just comes down to bad timing. Maybe making poor or rash decisions as of lately might have to do something with it as well? At this point, I'm not sure.
I, like Ted, have gotten used to living on my own. I've technically been living on my own for almost 6 years now. I can make whatever plans I want, go to bed early or late, cook whatever I please and not have to worry about checking in with someone or making sure our schedules sync up. I suppose I can't write too much about the season finale episode as the fan community as a whole is complaining about too many people (including CBS) are spoiling the show's big secret. I will say this: Ted is deciding to move on with his life and is contemplating starting a new life away from New York. Right now he feels like that part of his life was only a chapter and it's time to finish it and start a new one. I'm not achieving a new milestone or making a career or city change but I do need to consciously move on from an adolescent way of thinking. I keep thinking that every cute guy (regardless of the country I'm in) I meet might be my future significant other. I need to move past this way of thinking and just let things happen. Of course I will focus on making good decisions and trusting God for direction but I need to stop overanalyzing every single person I meet in my life. Or every single trip I take whether it's as far as Europe or just to the grocery store near my house in Florida. It's utterly exhausting if you ask me. Not as exhausting as it was in the beginning of my first trip to Spain to switch back and forth from Spanish to English all day, though, but fairly close.
It would make me so happy and content if I could live here in Europe for at least a year. I feel like with the way I process information, sights and handle relationships, I would still need a lot more time here in order to be satisfied. Well, I probably won't be satisfied with just a year here.......but that's another story for another time.
So...maybe like in Ted's situation, the best is yet to come. Maybe I need to stumble a bit more and spend more time in this city in order to have that chance encounter I've been dreaming about having. Or maybe I need to wake up and pay more attention to someone I already know....or vice versa? If you are reading this and think I'm losing hope, I'm not. I've just lost my way a little bit this week. Having to forgo a seemingly well-planned trip can certainly make you think about everything in your life. Its direction, purpose, meaning....
For now I will give thanks that I am in Sevilla again, where my heart is most content. I also have a place to stay even though my travel plans fell apart. Por eso, doy muchas gracias a Dios!
Un abrazo a todos! :-)